hey hey hey boo boo

Posts Tagged ‘ann coulter’

[insert trite man joke here]

In Death by Irony, Fantasy on October 9, 2009 at 2:23 pm

L writes,
we need to re-up on DBI; i was reading it again tonight and it is funny, relevant and necessary.

M writes,
funny
i was thinking the same thing
sort of
well not really
i was really thinking that i want to write some now but i can’t write for dappjuice
cause i don’t feel like being intelligent
i feel snarky and cynical and would prefer to look down my liberal wingnut nose at everyone

L writes,
i just fucking love you.

M writes,
i thought the world was off-kilter
but it turns out to be an ok place to live after all
playboy_marge

L writes,
ROFLMAO
one of the “girls” in our vegas trip was marge simpson’s sister – raspy voice et al -
i’ll have to send you the vid (if i didn’t already)

yeah – the world isn’t too bad a place, as long as you don’t have to raise anyone, clean poop or otherwise have responsibility -
next life i’m gonna be a militant lesbian with relationship issues, and who has no interest in cooking.

M writes,
next life i want to be june cleaver or marge simpson
they are both women who are fulfilled with their lot in life, have husbands who pay for everythign and can do whatever they want between dropping the kids off at school and when hubby comes home.
i can’t remember either of them ever doing laundry…

L writes,
yes, you are correct -
reality sucks and cartoonism rocks.
unfortunately, reality bites the proverbial cartoon arse.
and even so, i’m seriously considering leaving chris with mark and moving to sf to be with my cab-driver/musician fantasy wannabe, and blowing off any semblance of normalcy i may have left between now and the next twenty five years…
unless someone gives me a reason not…

which, i don’t see happening.

M writes,
sadly, after a month,  the cab-driver/musician fantasy wannabe will fart in bed, ignore you when you speak and want a blowjob after taking the garbage out.

L writes,
sadly, cabdriver-musician wanted a bj long before garbage day, (which i didn’t provide due to TMJ issues) neglected to take the garbage out after a home cooked dinner and farted in the car on the way to golden gate park.

i want a wife.

M writes,
i want a cookie.

10 signs the universe hates us

In Death by Irony on April 27, 2009 at 10:21 pm

1. bees. if they were only here to pollinate and make honey, they wouldn’t have stingers and people wouldn’t be allergic.

2. mosquitoes. if they were only here to feed frogs then they wouldn’t suck human blood. they would suck the blood of something else that sucks blood. that would be the fair and balanced way.

3. natural disasters. if we didn’t destroy lovely pristine places just to build homes and shopping centers and didn’t try to live in places we don’t belong living, the natural disasters may not affect us so greatly.

4. dwindling resources. nature is said to be perfect in providing for that which we need. ie: the more an infant needs to nurse, the more milk it’s mother will produce. This is true with any mammal. that said, then it should stand to reason that the more people we have on the planet and the more we need to sustain ourselves, the universe should be able to provide for that. maybe it just plain doesn’t want to anymore.

5. ann coulter. a species in and of herself.

7. it’s gotten so tired of us digging big holes in the earth and burying our trash in them, that it has figured out a way to get us to spend our hard earned money on something as simple as water, drinking it from something so artificial as plastic, so that the water we drink to keep healthy is sure to give us cancer.

8. cable tv that costs way too much, goes out consistantly and never has anything on worth watching.

9. great drugs available at any time and the myriad laws against them.

10. republicans.